Gotta be Houdini.
Just now, I was looking at the calendar and realizing that tomorrow marks the 1 year anniversary since I last saw you. It was the last time I was able to hug you. The goodbye was more rushed than I would have liked, but we stretched the moment out as much as we could. I had to rush off to use the printers at FedEx before they closed. Time.
Like that day, today I’m running around collecting and printing documents. Putting together the final pieces of paperwork for the largest (volume wise) document I have ever created, much larger than the few pages we tried to print at your house.
That last night in Michigan was a Wednesday. I remember being quite frustrated when your printer wasn’t working. I apologized to you for being so childish about it. You said that it was OK that I was upset, and you said that you knew I wasn’t upset with you. I was relieved, but apologized again anyway. In some subtle way, I regretted during a moment where I could let go. When you saw that, you subtly let me know that it wasn’t necessary to beat myself up about it. I remember you freeing me from that thought. It was a subtle thing, but I still cherish that example of forgiveness.
I was about to drive across the country. I remember feeling good about us and our ability to move through that extremely frustrating moment. Both us noticing it in the other, then giving them silent permission to let it go. Broken computer accessories are good at creating frustrations, which is only amplified when I’m in a rush. That was awesome, Mom.
You’ve taught me a lot. I want you/me/us to know that I’ve being doing what I can to find the gifts in your absence. It really doesn’t feel like you are “gone”, but I know something has significantly changed. There are gaps in my life that I will have to make my own paths for. I can no longer find you outside of myself.
This past weekend, I was having dinner with an old friend of mine who I met over a decade ago, in Vancouver. I met him again in Toronto about 6 years later, and now recently, in Edmonton. We’re apparently subconsciously following each other around the country. Epic Two-Finger Pushup Dave. One day I’m going to accidentally call him “Bruce”.
Anyhow, as Dave and I ate through piles of fish, we spoke of you. At one point, we both became very quiet, then silent. Dave looked into my face and said, “I can see her right now. I see her looking at me. She’s wonderful.” I felt as he saw. Powerful silent moment.
You were the initial inspiration for this blog. I wanted to record my travels and discoveries. Perhaps it was a just a way of yelling, “Here I am!” Published in a form that doesn’t set an expectation for a response. The travel blog then morphed into an online technical study journal.
This website no longer serves any of these purposes very well. I require something more minimal and more flexible than WordPress. I dig text files. Ok, I’m getting technical again.
I last spoke to you on the phone, two weeks before you passed. You knew I was happy and living in peace. You didn’t sound so optimistic about your own surroundings. However, I supposed it’s safe to say that you are in a better place now.
No clue what that means exactly… but I’m guessing it doesn’t include blog posts.
P.S. I saw on your computer that all your recent photos were adjusted using GIMP instead of Photoshop. I didn’t know you were liking that program!! It made me smile to see all those open-source-created image files on your PC hard drive. Nice one, Mom.
- Movement heals. Dance is even better. https://t.co/zXDFoWjxtU 2016-05-25
- LED kinetic sculpture mimics motion capture trackers of a walk cycle. #animation https://t.co/AkFq3ArA59 2016-05-23
- Carl Sagan's Baloney Detection Kit includes a list of 9 tools.
- How Smartphone Light Affects Your Brain & Body (Infographic) | Collective-Evolution – https://t.co/ZN5GcaJQcX 2016-05-22
- Your brain does not process information and it is not a computer | Aeon Essays – https://t.co/oWIKVklNs3 2016-05-22
- Tiny home project aims to stabilize neighborhood to help Detroit homeless | – @urbanbotplay https://t.co/FKVrjljjNx 2016-05-22
- In radio we call moments like this "dead air". #bluescreenofdeath #yeg via @urbanbotplay https://t.co/TtTpf8HVoS 2016-05-04
- Not a movie. https://t.co/3qD7DR9G0v 2016-05-04
- Uninstalling the "tracker" in Gnome Ubuntu has giving me a new computer. #performance – https://t.co/4SfDkRQPBK 2016-04-30
- "Depression relapse prevention with mindfulness therapy 'on par' with drugs, review shows" :
- Giant time-sucking video games are bad for you and bad for gaming – https://t.co/yTur21IEJO 2016-03-27
- Blender 2.77 new feature list demonstrated by @cgmastersnet : https://t.co/Zj5Dn1Czy5 2016-03-25
- A conspiracy is making up a story to reduce the difficulty experienced in ambiguity. 1 hr 20 min talk w/ @BreneBrown https://t.co/7qoaVIXxaf 2016-03-25
- News anchor Dan Harris speaks on meditation. –
- "The advertising world can be very seductive."
- “Don’t be a butt in a seat and don’t hire butts for seats” #bottomup : https://t.co/X4F4ImeAPM 2016-03-17
- Alternative to layered EXRs in Blender? This addon for render layer passes from @loochmunz is going to save me. #b3d https://t.co/5YXblykQvY 2016-03-17
- Tried the layered EXR thing, but the idea broke when I had to re-render only one of the layers. Can't over-write only a portion of an EXR? 2016-03-17
- RT @JamesJeanArt: ✨✌️✨ Coming next week: https://t.co/AVpdzgCsW1 https://t.co/OCvGnxae1u 2016-03-16
- Re-watching this video of live 3D demos from Siggraph 2015. Reminds me of the world we will live in. https://t.co/KbheOtmTpk in reply to verbal007 2016-03-16
- SIGGRAPH 2016!! I wish!! I can't make it to ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA, but I'll be watching for all the goodies that come out of it. @siggraph in reply to siggraph 2016-03-16
- AAAH!!! I miss home. @siggraph in reply to siggraph 2016-03-16
- RT @Shhlife: Continuing my series in learning how to use the open source animation tool #Blender3d viewport. https://t.co/908KDPw9oH 2016-03-15
- for text gurus – Vim cheat sheet in multiple DPIs and even a version for the color blind. https://t.co/0jJKbSQDv0 2016-03-14
- Semi-dynamic web pages, without CMS databases, are more secure and way more efficient. #jekyll #blog for @lizgallo : https://t.co/wsQ5MUg2M7 2016-03-14
- For those of us already familiar with python, is Hyde a proper substitute for Jekyll for static website generation? 2016-03-14
- Reddit sub topic on Financial Independence. [thx @brennandunn] : https://t.co/gjwweqSAKK 2016-03-14
- sudo gnome-disks … Really? It will auto-magically mount my secondary drive on startup? All this time and that's all I needed. #linux 2016-03-11
- Is there such as thing as sharing too much? Think so. https://t.co/sDHFoiWiWx 2016-03-10
- More #blogging w/ #markdown. Differences between Ghost and Jekyll. https://t.co/5hQXWiWAVv 2016-03-10
- Tao3D for interactive 3D presentations, potentially dive down & replace Powerpoint. (thx @LineloDude) https://t.co/RLAGYdOe46 2016-03-10
- Blogging with either Ghost, Jekyll or Medium? #markdown and flat files lead me to this comparison. https://t.co/bHEIr7qiYZ 2016-03-10
Last week marks the one year anniversary of when I decided to finally buckle down and dive into Blender. Looking back, can see how much I have learned and I’m quite happy with how far I have come. Comfy with all the departments. I do miss my old desk though.
Excuses aside, I can tell you that things have not stopped progressing. I’ve developed a few new unique effects, played a LOT with rendering, and cleaned it all up in compositing. I’m blown away. I really am.
One of the beautiful attributes of open software is that it grows with the community. Sometimes independently developed add-ons become features. Sometimes core features cause a complete overhaul. Through all this, the tool more and more represents the users.
Multiple times, I thought this software was reading my mind.
The sky is the limit and development is accelerating. We are talking about multiple feature release sets per year, that aren’t just bug fixes.
- Trello for task management. Online team collaboration. Click n drag assigning. [thx @DevTipsShow] : https://t.co/iagyf1Lh5A 2016-03-09
- "You don’t create a culture. Culture happens. It’s the by-product of consistent behavior." https://t.co/MJBvO4LvZa 2016-03-08
- Discovered that Bumptop 3D's virtual physics-driven desktop was bought by Google then released on Github. #UI https://t.co/kpgxwXoch9 2016-03-08
- Summaries of a few dozen books on productivity and more. Try before you buy. This is reference gold. [thx @sivers] https://t.co/AGUQ7mZNhX 2016-03-08
- Starting with CERN's hadron collider… https://t.co/5kM6RR0LQt 2016-03-08
- Testing out some regular expressions in this handy online tool. https://t.co/pyCOrcojf6 [via @Trystal] 2016-03-08
- Android keyboard "Fleksy" is now installed on the tablet. The intro tutorial already has me swooning (and swiping). https://t.co/oT6hTZ2iT6 2016-03-08
- 16 minimal blogging platforms w/ flat files and/or maybe some markdown.
- Kicking ass with science. #videogame #powermoves #Tesla #Einstein https://t.co/iSN4aQZE3N 2016-03-03