I sit here alone and think of her (she’s out climbing a wall right now).
I’m remembering the incredible friends she has and I see how well she gets along with mine. She treats other humans and animals with respect, yet doesn’t hesitate to share how she feels. Artistic. Dancy. Giving and not materialistic. She is showing me a whole new level of empathy and trust.
She gave me a bracelet for my birthday. Leather straps holding a plate that has the geographic coordinates of the beach that we met on.
Funny to realize that I spent so much of my life not even allowing myself to feel what I feel right now.
I don’t consider myself “lucky”, but I am very grateful and I will do all I can in order to be worthy of such a gift.
** UPDATE ** February 1st, 2015
Almost 1 year later and my marriage has fallen apart (to put it mildly). The empathy I was understanding was real… but it was growing from within. The unconditional giving I was feeling was also from within, along with the new levels of trust I was experiencing.
It was a gift. There are no regrets. I have learned more than I would have ever expected to learn in such a short amount of time. I honour what I have attracted and will nurture all these unexpected lessons. My world has been spun around and it continues to shift. As I am healing myself, so will I be able to heal others.
These lessons are priceless. I am grateful. Recognising the mental grasping and hope that I was holding on to… instead of acknowledging the deep troubles we were experiencing. I allowed myself to be the focus of change, yet witnessed very little reciprocation of this change in my partner, which was not healthy. We can help one another, but we should not allow change to be forced upon us by someone who “love”s us. I have found strength in empathy and learned how to feel another’s experience without it crippling me. I am now able to hold my space and I understand what real “boundaries” are. No longer will I ignore the challenges and only focus on the good.
I understand now what it is like to love, for I feel it through my head, my heart and my belly. The tingles push to the extremities of my limbs. These feelings would be easy to measure in an emotional heat map. The word “trust” now describes the flow, not the blockage.
I did not find myself in another. Another has helped me find myself within.
Funny that I chose bots. 🙂