My phone would never pocket dial.
When I ended a call, I was 100% sure it was over.
I could dial phone numbers without having to even look at the dialing pad.
My battery lasted 4 days, on average.
More than 70% of the chargers I encountered would fit my phone.
Service is $30 a month w/ unlimited US nationwide coverage.

I could text message just fine, assuming I was creative and didn’t have to write a novel.
I couldn’t “browse the web” with ease, though I did have access to email and maps in a limited capacity… so no emergency was too big for my phone to handle.
I couldn’t take super awesome photos… but I made sure my “real” cameras were never too far.

This phone is *not* a smartphone.

I’d even consider a text pager, if pager service was still $10 per month (how about, “less”)-

-but I digress…

In my Walmart online shopping cart right now, I see this phone is $24.85, including shipping. How much are these new iPhone devices?