{"id":1732,"date":"2011-05-11T19:05:16","date_gmt":"2011-05-11T23:05:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/?p=1732"},"modified":"2011-05-11T19:23:12","modified_gmt":"2011-05-11T23:23:12","slug":"two-victories-for-the-empire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/two-victories-for-the-empire","title":{"rendered":"Two Victories for the Empire"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.galacticempiretimes.com\/2011\/05\/09\/galaxy\/outer-rim\/obi-wan-kenobi-is-killed.html\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.galacticempiretimes.com\/2011\/05\/09\/galaxy\/outer-rim\/images\/vader-podium.jpg\" alt=\"Empire Kills Terrorist\" width=\"600\" height=\"350\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Vader Announces Death of Rebel Terrorist<\/h3>\n<p>According to the <strong><a title=\"Galactic Empire Times\" href=\"http:\/\/www.galacticempiretimes.com\/2011\/05\/09\/galaxy\/outer-rim\/obi-wan-kenobi-is-killed.html\">Galactic Empire Times<\/a><\/strong>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>CORUSCANT \u2014 <strong>Obi-Wan Kenobi<\/strong>, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><a href=\"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/bustedByTroopers.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-1733 alignleft\" style=\"margin: 10px;\" title=\"Click for full image.\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/bustedByTroopers-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" \/><\/a>Suspected Rebel &#8220;Jer&#8221; Detained<\/h3>\n<p>In a related victory for the galaxy, another <a title=\"full image under link\" href=\"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/bustedByTroopers.jpg\">rebel was apprehended by a squadron in the Toronto region<\/a>. The unsuspecting terrorist was taken without incident. Identified as &#8220;<em>Jer<\/em>&#8220;, the rebel was armed with a concealed hot dog wrapped in paper towel and <strong>a bag full of independently financed comic books<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>He was also in possession of a 20oz bottle of Coca Cola, though he denies that he was the owner. He was recorded saying, &#8220;<em>It&#8217;s not mine!! I&#8217;m hypoglycemic!.<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He is currently being detained at an undisclosed location and undergoing &#8220;questioning&#8221; in order to determine the whereabouts of other potential rebel terrorist cells.<\/p>\n<p>With two historic victories in less than a single solar cycle, citizens of the Empire have reason to be proud.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Vader Announces Death of Rebel Terrorist According to the Galactic Empire Times: CORUSCANT \u2014 Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday. Suspected Rebel &#8220;Jer&#8221; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[159,351,352,325],"class_list":["post-1732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","category-humor","tag-comic","tag-darth-vader","tag-star-wars","tag-toronto"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1732"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1732\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1751,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1732\/revisions\/1751"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerslife.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}